The Air Force’s new advertisement for flight surgeons
The military is currently facing a critical shortage in the number of flight surgeons. The Air Force in particular has been struggling over the past few years to fill its numbers with qualified doctors who can take care of pilots and their families. Recently, the Air Force began development of a new advertising campaign in an attempt to draw more flight surgeons. As an exclusive to this website, I have obtained a copy of the first script and will share it here:
Hello, my name is Captain Martin. I’m a flight surgeon for the best Air Force in the world. Just to show you how wonderful things are here in the USAF, let me share with you my previous week.
Monday: I got to meet real, honest-to-God pilots today. They were so friendly… so tough in their flight suits. I think that I’m going to get a flight suit, too. Joy! The colonel says that if I act right, he’ll let me hold the stick the next time we go flying.
Tuesday: I went to the confidence course today. The Air Force uses the term “confidence” because the outdated term “obstacle course” is too negative. I had such a wonderful time. As I was climbing the ropes, rock ‘n roll music was playing and everyone was saluting me. It was awesome!
Wednesday: I went to clinic today and saw patients.
Thursday: I had to get up at 4:00 a.m. this morning for mandatory physical training. I knew that being in the Air Force would be tough, but I guess that all this training is great so that I can buff up and women will stop laughing at me when I tell them that I’m in the military.
Friday: my assistants did not show up to the clinic today until after 11:00 a.m. It was no big deal. I couldn’t find any of the patients’ charts anyway. I just went from scratch like I did back when I was in medical school.
Half MD.com 
Vero said,
January 13, 2009 at 12:32 am
Saturday: stood together in a big group hug and sang Cumbaya with my fellow officers. Such bonding! Joy!
Somebody actually got paid to write this crap?
halfmd said,
January 13, 2009 at 12:36 am
It’s a fake, Vero. I made it up based upon the real advertisements that are on the USAF website and what recruiters like to say about flight medicine. I think your post falls right in line with the marketing that goes into the field.
Quash said,
January 13, 2009 at 1:52 am
HAHA great post, I was all damn this could be something I might want to take a look at should it come to scramblin time. Then you said hold the stick, and I died laughing
thehillbillyhealer said,
January 13, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Dude if your worried about assistants showing up then you have really should have NO worries. I was enlisted for four years and I have to say that if you can grow even the tiniest of pairs, you will have NO problem whatsoever having your subordinates show up. If office politics is more important to you than practicing medicine and you would REALLY like a shiny star to wear on you hat, then maybe. If you want to practice medicine then you really don’t have anything to worry about.
medical said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:56 am
nice article… thanks
ROTFLMAO said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:33 pm
But where are the condos?