The type of people you meet in medical school 2

May 8, 2007 at 10:15 pm (1st and 2nd year)

I’m following up on the previous post with some more characters you should avoid in med school.

My Parents are Doctors, so I Guess I Should be One, Too = this person doesn’t really have a defined reason of why he/she is in medical school. Usually, the rationale is rather vague until you hear, “Well, I wanted to become a chef, but my mother told me to go into medicine instead.” Ironically, even though this person has grown up around medicine, she will have the worst physician skills in your class.

Patient Killer = this person will be the first person in your class to kill a patient—usually during orientation. This person will be so inept, that he will not know that he lacks skills. Having this person on your team is a true nightmare because he will not know the basic tenants of medicine such as how to take a blood pressure. The hospital’s nursing assistants will constantly follow behind this person, carefully keeping the patients out of death’s grip.

The Giver = this person will bemoan everyday that passes without Socialized medicine. He will cry out for patients all across America, saying that every person deserves access to free care, that the Republicans are out to kill poor people, and that he will flee to Canada after graduation because the Canadians have it figured out. Hypocritically, this person will never volunteer his time while in med school.

Hypochondriac = every week this person will suspect that he has a new disease. If a lecturer gives a presentation on Lupus, this person will demand an ANA test, even though he does not have a rash. If you’re studying thyroid disease, he will want to be tested for both hypo and hyperthyroidism. Eventually, a random laboratory study will confirm that this student has pernicious anemia.

New Specialty Each Week = similar to the hypochondriac, this person gets more out of lecture than just notes. If an ear, nose, and throat doctor gives a talk, this person needs to become an otolaryngologist. When the radiation oncologist shows up, this person immediately starts talking about dosages of radiation. He will become a pediatrician.

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